Things are very exciting in my practice this time of year! Because I work with a lot of high schoolers, many of my clients are currently committing to colleges for next fall. My heart is so full of excitement for them because in many cases we have spent a long time and many hours preparing them for this decision. It is a BIG decision, and truthfully a risky one. It is normal for your child to wonder whether or not they have made the right choice, even when they are already on campus.
What can you do to help them? Know what to look out for and prepare them for their freshman year as much as possible.
Here are 3 Signs that your child may not be quite ready:
1. They have a hard time making decisions. Choosing what school you’re going to attend is obviously a big decision, but how much does your child rely on you to make choices for him/her on a regular basis? As they prepare to go to college, encourage them to start making their own choices, big (“Where should I go to college?”) and small (“What’s for dinner tonight?”). Being independent and having self determination will help your child’s transition run much more smoothly!
2. They don’t handle stress well. Many of us, at one time another, have times when our stress feels out of our control. Does your child know coping skills? Coping skills can be anything that helps them feel better when they are stressed. Healthy skills include journaling, exercising, playing music, reaching out to a friend, practicing breathing exercises, etc.. Unhealthy ones can include drug or alcohol abuse, self harm (cutting, hair pulling, skin picking, etc.), driving dangerously fast, pulling all nighters to play video games, etc. Your child may not know how harmful some of their behaviors can be and may need some extra assistance from you or a mental health professional.
3. They are easily influenced by peers. While it’s true that some people are leaders and some are followers, how far do you think your child is willing to go to follow the pack? It is human nature to want to feel like we belong to something, and sometimes that means doing things that go against what our individual morals and values are. Your child may not be aware of where they should draw the line, and that can be dangerous when they are with all new people in an all new place. Again, encourage your child to practice self determination and ask them what their opinion is on many different things! Help them practice using their voice.
These three things, while concerning, are not reasons your child should not go to college! All three of these warning signs simply show that your child could benefit from some extra support. To hear more about how I can help, please visit my site http://www.dynamicheartcounseling.com or sign your child up for one of the summer College Prep Groups!